New Year, New Life (Bee/Open)

[Kokoro]

(January 1^st, 2025)

Last night, apparently, had been a celebration. She knew about New Years, of course. She'd just never celebrated, and was kind of scared to at the time. Yes, it was a new year. It was a new life for her. But she just didn't get the need to party over it. Smaller celebrations, quieyer, less sleep - deprivating, sure. She hadn't gotten any sleep last night.

Perhaps yhat was a good thing, though. Her dreams had been getting frighteningly realistic and bunched together, her reality harder and harder to identify. Nightmares haunted her and they were so painfully real, so terribly vivid, that she wasn't sure, sometimes, that she wasn't still in the lab. Perhaps she'd simply gone insane. Maybe they were playing with hallucinogens.

However, she was determined to make today a good day. She was declaring todqy her birthday. She didn't remember her real birthday, after all. Why not choose such a symbolic date as this?

She'd avoided leaving her room for the ten days she'd been here. She should head out, but she just couldn't bring herself to open that door, to find a reality that wasn't her own. Her father, the robot... He confused her. How could she be related to a robot? And her name... He'd alled her Kokoro. It was cute, but... Well, it just didn't feel like it belonged to her. It felt like a pet name, a tag, a spurr of the moment gesture. Could she choose her name, as well as her birthday?

Her scarrs bit at her as she pulled a shirt over her head. It was too big, but it was clothing. And it color. She loved color. Color was such a beautiful concept. Such a welcome thing. She'd grown up without color, and she hadn't liked it. Her flute was even white. Her flute... She'd left her flute behind! That was the only truly wonderful, beautiful thing she'd ever had... And she left it. A quick tear escaped as she sat down.

Maybe today wasn't such a great day after all. She was scared to meet these people, these robots. She didn't even have the one thing that marked her sanity, that made her... Her. Yes, one more day. One more day in comfort. She was so glad they'd had empty rooms...

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[Bumblebee]

Bumblebee had thought over the past decade of how he had failed to realize that someone needed him dearly, and, he had passed off their cries as a voice that wasn’t there. Honestly, the normally happy go lucky mech was bouncing in step, as if the situation wasn’t as horrible as it was. To make today better than it actually seemed, to live a good life with his comrades while he could in case something of the inevitable happened. Such had occurred with poor Cliffjumper. That one, he had his own bit of fun, liked heading into things head first unfortunately which is what did him in in the end. Bumblebee himself tended to go out on his own ahead as well, so he could not think or speak so hypocritically. In the end, perhaps, it too would take him. Whether quickly or drawn out. To have true pain be his last feeling before it all came to its end.

The voice, it had wept on many occasions. Sometimes he spoke to them, asking what was wrong, though often he didn’t get a reply back other than pain. After awhile, he started to believe that he was going mad. How could he possibly let the Autobots know that? They would put him out of commission, they wouldn’t let him do anything! No more scouting, no missions, not fighting alongside his teammates. And just what might they do with a loon mech who just stands around all day? He would of been considered a waste of space and resources, and likely, would of gotten himself into trouble due to being cooped up and looked upon as ill. No, he kept his mouth shut, metaphorically speaking. In the moments where the pain of his Spark and whatever part of that voice’s body that was being attacked, he would try to let it go unnoticed. The others weren’t stupid, he was sure someone would of noticed at least two incidents. Often, he’d give a reassuring response and cover up to wave them away from the possibility that perhaps, he truly had gone insane.

Insanity, however, had not been the case. It turned out that he had a Techno Organic child, one that he had let down. How could someone be so selfish?.. If he would of let Ratchet know in the very least, who has a Techno Organic daughter himself and would know, then he would of figured it out and they could of prevented the horrors that this young girl had to endure! No, he had worried that he wouldn’t be allowed to function on his own anymore, he couldn’t even consider the possibility that the voice belonged to his lab created kin, whom who desperately needed his help. He had let the one he called Kokoro down. He didn’t deserve to give her a nickname. He would be there to protect and support her, hope that it’s not too late, that the damage has not gone too far. That insanity he had felt, the odd mental moments where his own processor would go on the fritz, those were hers that he felt through the bond.

His large optics were filled with sorrow, some agony, and terrible remorse. The poor girl hid in her room, away from the others. Confining herself to the point that Bumblebee had to ensure that she ate properly. He put his bulky arms over his head, robotic hands hanging onto the back of his helm as he tried to ponder what to do. He had let this happen to her. He had screwed up so much lately, there was no way in hell any of it could ever be considered laughable. He let out a sigh, in the form of cybertronic tone. His form sighed with him, putting his arms down before turning toward her bedroom door, giving it a very gentle knock. He fully understood if she didn’t want anything to do with him. He could have saved her! The guilt and scorning himself felt like a very heavy tumor on his Spark, hanging, digging its claws in so to stay in place. He wondered if she could tell.

[Kokoro]

She looked up at the knock, eyebrows very slightly curled up in confusion. Why did somebody just hit her door? A couple of times, too... Then she realized that that meant they wanted her attention. Right. This wasn't like a phone... You didn't answer with your name... Maybe... Open the door? Yes, that was probably a good first step. She got up to open the door, slowly, peeking out. In her past, evil people hid behind doors. This wasn't an evil person, though. This was a friendly alien. Her father, actually. Somehow. She was pretty sure that was close to physically impossible, but stranger things had happened. Besides, she was a test tube baby, so physical issues didn't cross over quite as much there. At least, she was pretty sure...

She shook her head minutely, the smallest of grins on her face. She wasn't very good at expressing emotion, but she was getting better at it. Her father was pretty dang good at it, she needed the practice. She waved him in. It wasn't like she had anything to hide. She barely had anything to start with. She didn't even have her flute. "Happy New Year."

She knew he still blamed himself for her toil. She couldn't do anything for that. She could only hope he got over it eventually. She didn't make speaches. But, maybe...

She sent a warm feeling of acceptance across the bond, aiming for something equivalent to a bond hug. It wasn't love. She wasn't mentally prepared for that. She only vaguely understood the concept. The closest she'd ever come to love was her flute. Her flute and Dr. Peaches, but Dr. Peaches was dead. She kinda wished she knew his real name. Dr. Peaches made her sound like a little kid. She wasn't a little kid. He'd been the nice one, but he was a security risk. They couldn't handle security risks. Not with her there. Not with the faltering legality of their experiments.

She would try, though. He deserved that much. Bumblebee. It was a cute name, kinda fun. Sweet little bumblebee. He didn't look so sweet now; he looed sad, even disturbed. If only she could make him understand that it wasn't his fault. Humans were monsters. Surely he understood that.

She went back into the room, having waved him in, and tucked her hair up into a kind of lazy ponytail. Some of her bangs still hung in her face, allowing her a ense of... What, privacy? Self? But most of it was pulled back. Just the way she liked it. That and her thin black jacket. She liked the jacket. It felt like a clothe hug, of sorts. It was cozy. She didn't have it on, thoguh. Not now. She'd just gotten dressed, after all.

"What are you planning?" Her way of saying what's up. She knew English, it was just awkward at times...

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[Bumblebee]

The welcoming faint blue glow of his optics lit up as he curiously looked down at the young pupil that literally, looked up to him. From the child’s viewpoint, the guilt and anguish would still be there, much like one of her own scars. Even when putting on a friendly face that spoke of the usual happiness he felt being with the Autobots are their slowly increasing organic population, the dark negatives were still there.

All in all, he was happy to see her with a smile. No matter how small, it was a smile, and she seemed happy to see him. With her permission, he let himself in, giving great interest in the room’s interior for a few seconds before frowning in the only way that he could. His large, round optics would loud some cheerfulness and his door wings would droop a bit. If she asked, whatever she wanted, she could count on Bumblebee giving her quarters, her safe haven, more quality that would suit her needs and wants. As for the wishes of a happy new year.. He looked upon the girl questioningly, knowing he had heard something about it from the kids. New Year, some sort of count adding to their time. There were so many, yet, each and every one of them was cherished and celebrated with promises that may or may not be fulfilled. Still, it was a way to get together with your loved ones and be happy for what you had in the last count, and bring hope that this next year will be greater. Planning together how you will make it so. That part of it he had to admire.

When he caught her attempt of reassuring well-being across their shared bond, his wings raised a bit, and his form allowed some of its tense build up to release. The pain was still at the center of his Spark, but with the message, he pushed aside what he could and let the thoughts drop for now. Right now it was Koko’s time, not his. //”Happy New Year.”\\

The mech, yellow and black, wondered what she was thinking at the moment. Knowing that he could only communicate with her through bond speech. Something one might find a bit sad, but he didn't mind it, and hoped she would not either. Bumblebee had gotten over his vocal setbacks long long ago. Happy to have a voice at all, thanks to Ratchet. As for her question, at the moment, nothing. If anything, he wanted to get to know her better. To others, he was far too young to be worried about having his own kids. Yet, here she was, right before him. He wondered what it was that she would want to do. After all, she had missed out on so much already. //”Nothing really. I thought you would prefer some welcoming company, so, I came down.”\\

[Kokoro]

She glanced quickly around the room, to find aforementioned black jacket. Black wasn't really a color, per say, but it was friendlier than white. If she got another flute, though, it would have to be a shiny silver. Not white, but close enough to resemble it. Silver would likely become a symbolic color for her. She liked the idea of symbolism.

She liked to speak out loud, too, when she could. She hoped Bumblebee understood that. She hadn't ever really spoken much in the past, and now she could speak freely. It was a nice change, even if she didn't exactly take advantage of it. "I do appreciate the company." She nodded to emphasize her point, looking up at him with sparkling gray eyes.

"You know... There's this whole deal about New Years resolutions... Right? So, if I understand them right... I've got a couple. And I'll need you to help me fulfill them." She wasn't great at starting conversations, but she may as well try. Besides that, she wanted to see a few things. Ride a roller coaster. See the ocean. Pet a dog.

She couldn't do all that by herself, after all. There was nothing in that, and it would be a lot harder to get there without a ride. She glanced around the room really quick - there really wasn't much to it - before settling down to speak with Bumblebee.

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[Bumblebee]

Bumblebee had begun to wonder about how all of this might affect his little human companion, Raf, as well. He would do his best to be there for both him and his Techno Organic child. He knew he still had responsibilities to uphold along with these new ones and was definitely worried about this. He was only a Scout for a reason, though he worked hard to prove himself amongst his comrades, he still had much to learn and far to go. It was like a teenager taking care of a kid. A violently scarred kid. A female, violently scarred kid. There were so many things to screw up, in so many ways. If he sat to think about the different possible combinations of these two options it would take him eons. One wrong move could destroy his relationship with either child, said mishap could also harm either child whether it be mentally or physically. Ratchet and Perceptor proved to be decent parents for their young, but Bumblebee himself was still VERY young and had little experience. What experience he did have with kids was with Raf and the others. Picking them up from school- that time Raf was harmed and placed in a sickly manner. Bumblebee had been unable to prevent it, and it had nearly cost the young boy his life in a ill manner.

With this in mind, doubt set in. Watching over one was hard enough, two, and one, connected to him by bond. How could he prevent harm from coming to them? If he were taking either anywhere one day, and Knockout happened to be around.. He did recall when Knockout had mistaken another human as Bumblebee’s Rafael, potentially fatal hostage situation. This brewed worry. Was he to be trusted with either?

Still, he had not been there before for the young miss before him, and he wasn’t about to walk out on her now, or Raf, or the other kids for that matter. He was going to stick with Koko and help her through her damaged times, to forget the past and move onto the future. He too bore his own scars, one that was a constant reminder whenever he tried to speak. He didn’t let it stop him though, he was happy to have his friends, and lucky to still be with them, fighting alongside.

Her request brought up just what he had been thinking, and he was happy to have been asked for his aid in her matters. He crouched, letting his hands sit on his knees as he looked upon her curiously. His door wings raised for a moment before settling back down, still out somewhat as he meant to listen carefully and patiently. With that, his voice made of bleeps, tones, and different sound frequencies gave a questioning phrase. +”Wutcha need?”+

[Kokoro]

((I am going to assume that she can understand his beeps, if only because she's his kid.))

Koko put her jack on, sitting down on her little cot, surprisingly at ease, all things considered. "Well, I got to thinking recently... And I realized, I've missed a lot in my life. I mean, how many teenagers do you talk to that have never ridden on a roller coaster before? For that matter, how many kids do you talk to that haven't ever popped a bubble before? I have a lot of catching up to do, and I can't do it alone." Growing up was hard, especially when most of your growing up was spent hearing about stuff you thought you would never see, or feel, or experience yourself.

She was kind of scared to admit that she wanted to flute back, though. She wasn't sure what would happen if she tried to ask for it, to explain why she wanted it, why she needed it. With a vague expression of frustration, she looked at him, not sure how to express how she wanted him to help. "I just... I need somebody to enjoy life with. That's what I need. And... I was hoping you could fill the slot." She spoke hesitantly, carefully, not sure of what to say. This was a touchy thing for her, and it was pretty clear to anybody watching.

[Bumblebee]

His body's language and optics were attentive and listening. His wings perked a bit with the 'pupils' of his large, round optics focusing out, then in once more. Bright blue and supportive; set on Koko as if for whatever wish she had he could make truth. Still he crouched, his head following wherever she went.

Bumblebee couldn't help but still feel a good bit of guilt when she first started to speak. She had missed those years because of him. Her cries for help having been ignored and looked at as an unwanted sign of insanity.

As for roller coasters... He hadn't the slightest idea of what that was. Was it some sort of disc you skated around on? He hadn't heard the other children utter such words before, but, whatever it was, he would most definitely help the black haired mistress accomplish participating in such events.

And bubbles.. There was ALWAYS a form of bubble around Prowl, though, popping that would most likely call for some negative consequences. He couldn't help but mentally chuckle at that, his face lightening up a bit. If he could small, he quite possibly would have. His full attention back on her again, nodding in promise.

Bumblebee stood from where he had crouched to walk to where Kokoro was and sit down there, close. Both thumbs up with his expressive wings dancing with the gestures as his bleeping voice spoke in approval. //"Always. Any time, anywhere, all you'll need is call on me.... What's a roller coaster?"\\

[Kokoro]

He was asking her what a roller coaster was. How was she supposed to answer that? She'd never been on one, and she'd only heard about them before. //"Roller coasters... They're... Fast rides designed for amusement, I guess. I... Just heard that they were really fun. Peaches seemed to like them, at least."\\ Peaches had been her nickname for one of the two friendly scientists she actually knew; he'd taught her how to play flute, and given her the occasional distraction from the rest of her miserable life. He'd kept her sane, mostly. Still, she had not come out without mental scars, but that couldn't be helped. Some mornings she still expected to see that same plain featured woman, Nanny, wake her up and give her breakfast and clothing for the day. She was the other nice one; at least, nicer. She had called Koko a name, of sorts, even though she was never allowed. Kokoro had only learned later that said 'name' had only been the Spanish word for 'girl' - Chica - and as such, wasn't really much of a name. Despite that, it had been a friendly gesture.

But she wasn't there anymore, and desperately hoped to never see any of them again - ever. Not Nanny, Peaches, Fish, Doctor, Wormy, or any of the others. Never again would she be their Snowy, or Chica, or Ash... She was Kokoro. Right? Was that her, really? How did she know that this was just some grand hallucination, some huge trick that Pixel had put together, some giant farce? Was this really her life, or just something meant to give her hope, simply so that they could crush her again?

Well, even if it was an illusion... She wanted to get the absolute most out of life as she could before it vanished, so that even if she was trapped for forever yet in that same lab, she could say that she had had a life, even if for a short time. That little flicker of doubt, that maybe this wasn't the real world, had been teasing her, following her, being reinforced every night, feeding on her confusion, growing... Maybe she should tell somebody, but what if that ruined the illusion? What if that ruined this perfect dream, this perfect simulation? No, she would... She would stay strong. Getting up, she took a hesitant step toward Bumblebee, brows furrowed in this sudden spurt of doubt and confusion, her focus shifting so abruptly. She was trying to force life to move faster, trying to force it all to work out, because what if it all disappeared? //"Can... Can I touch you?"\\ It may have seemed an odd request, but there was reason for it, no matter how desperate and out there that reason was. She had set what seemed like simple goals, but those goals were so ridiculously far away from her, when simply believe in the existence of the floor beneath her feet was so troublesome.

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[SeekerWing]

Seeker is proposing closed thread!

Proposed End Summary:

Bonding time between Bee and Koko; possibly a trip to an amusement park?

Accepted?:

• Iro - Accepted

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THREAD CLOSED